She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.