im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also, beer. Big fan.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize