I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
