We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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