Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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