And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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