i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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