I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
