dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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