Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just cut my nipple shaving
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
