I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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