i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
