But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Iβm on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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