There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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