so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
