Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
