I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
