Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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