you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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