that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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