As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
