I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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