We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
