I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
