He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
