Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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