That's when you crack a 10am beer
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
