I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
