Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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