you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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