I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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