Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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