somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
