I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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