Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
