i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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