i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
