don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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