good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
