Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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