Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
