are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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