Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
