You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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