just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
