...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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