oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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