So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
