Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
