don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
