Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
