Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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