Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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