I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
