I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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